Night Guy Screws Morning Guy

In “The Glasses” episode, Jerry Seinfeld’s opening monologue is a perfect reflection of how I manage my sleeping schedule.

JERRY: I never get enough sleep. I stay up late at night, cause I’m Night Guy. Night Guy wants to stay up late. ‘What about getting up after five hours sleep?’, oh that’s Morning Guy’s problem. That’s not my problem, I’m Night Guy. I stay up as late as I want. So you get up in the morning, you’re ….., you’re exhausted, groggy, oooh I hate that Night Guy! See, Night Guy always screws Morning Guy. There’s nothing Morning Guy can do. The only thing Morning Guy can do is try and oversleep often enough so that Day Guy looses his job and Night Guy has no money to go out anymore.

Since we have implemented our new homeschooling/family togetherness plan, the only time Tom and I have to hit the gym together is in the dreaded morning. I usually feel like crap as my body is still waking up and my joints ache on the 20 minute walk to the Always Club.

Add on to that the fact that a) we’re trying to push ourselves with CrossFit workouts; b) I keep screwing my morning self by staying up too late; c) homeschooling is a lot of work to get together; d) it’s the dreaded tax time; e) it seems as if every one of the Zs’ classmates was born in February or March, so we’ve had a thousand birthday parties in just the first month of school…well, all of this means that WE’RE FREAKING TIRED!

Slowly but surely though, Morning Guy is trashing Night Guy’s body at the gym, and Night Guy is finding it easier and easier to go to bed early. There may be hope yet.

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