We’ve Stopped Saying Cocksucker, Feel Me?

Tom and I have this horrible habit of mirroring the speech of whatever characters are featured in our current book and/or iTunes TV obsession.

When we were reading the series of maritime novels by Patrick O’Brian that take place during the Napoleanic Wars, we ran around the house speaking a wretched approximation of the Queen’s English, utilizing more formal than necessary sentence structures.

During our watching of The Wire, we would attempt to work the theme of an episode into our everyday lives, such as “You come at the king, you best not miss.” (By the way, can you believe that this amazing show never won an Emmy or Golden Globe? My personal opinion: best TV series, ever.)

We have Deadwood to thank for introducing the word “cocksucker” into our everyday lexicon, which, as foulmouthed as I can be, had never been a word I used, either as a noun or an adjective. A few episodes in, and alas, I could no longer make that claim. Sadly, it was in heavy rotation for both of us for a few weeks (only with the older set, of course).

Our vulgar period has passed now that we’ve moved on to our current TV addiction — Mad Men, the series about 1960s Madison Avenue. One of our favorite characters is Roger Sterling, a partner in the advertising firm featured in the series. He has some gems, such as:

“You don’t know how to drink. Your whole generation…you drink for the wrong reasons. My generation, we drink because it’s good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it’s what men do.”

“You know what my father used to say? Being with a client is like being in a marriage. Sometimes you get into it for the wrong reasons, and eventually, they hit you in the face.”

“I bet there were people walking around in the Bible complaining about kids today.”

Unfortunately, Tom and I have nothing to say that would be as cool as the writing on Mad Men, so Tom has suggested that we start drinking and smoking in the same copious amounts as the characters, really taking our emulation to a whole new level! (He’s willing to go the extra mile, my husband…)

6 Responses to “We’ve Stopped Saying Cocksucker, Feel Me?”

  1. futbol

    ok, i haven’t seen The Wire, but have YOU seen Twin Peaks? that’s my pick for best ever. and you can start talking like a david lynch character, i.e. in stunted, nonsensical phrases filled with awkward pauses!

  2. Michele

    I’m afraid that Twin Peaks was on while I lived in Taiwan…to date myself, there was no cable with American shows. We did get some Japanese channels while I lived there though, upon which I could watch Sumo and American football — alas, no Twin Peaks. I’ve seen an episode here and there though, after all it was set in my beloved Pacific Northwest.

  3. futbol

    i was 7 years old and living in argentina when twin peaks was on. i’m not sure there are any legal ways of getting old episodes outside the US…but over there, you can get the DVDs off Amazon or, apparently, you can watch it for free on CBS.com.

  4. Michele


    We tried, and Twin Peaks is not available in our geographic region. Tom has to get our VPN (virtual private network) up and running, then perhaps we can do it! Will keep you posted if we succeed.

  5. Rob

    I can’t wait to hear what great keywords appear in your google analytics after this post 🙂 Please fill us all in when they arrive. I know Futbol has had his share of great ones.

  6. Michele

    Rob! We really did hesitate to use the word “cocksucker” in the title, weighing the issue of how family friendly our blog aspires to be. But, in the end, we felt it was too funny to pass up, and will now hopefully tap into a bunch of porn viewing, smelly pork chop eating, greasy haired campers!

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