Tom’s Bad Hair Day


One would think that this picture really says it all, unfortunately though, it doesn’t.

This morning, on a crisp fall day, Tom and I repaired to the balcony so that I could cut his hair. He gathered together the accoutrement and out we went. Because it was so cold, I didn’t want the house to get too chilly, so I closed the sliding glass door behind me. In the next millisecond, I realized that said door is self locking, which meant that in my fit of efficiency to keep the house warm, I had trapped us on the balcony.

After a momentary freak out, Tom hopelessly tried the other half of the sliding glass door…and it opened. (I can’t even begin to explain what a catastrophe it would have been to be trapped on a fifth-floor balcony with no phone right before it was time to pick up the girls from school.) The wrong side of the door is not self locking — who knew?

Then came the ill-fated haircut.

As Tom’s hair has started thinning, he has shifted to trimmer haircuts, which I don’t like because I’m sort of absentminded and I always worry I’m going to screw up. There aren’t many mistakes with scissors that can’t be fixed, not so with trimmers.

Anyhow, in the aftermath of almost being trapped on the balcony, I spaced and didn’t put the guard on the trimmers and instead, just plunged the straight trimmer into the back of Tom’s hair, cutting the weird swath you can see above. Immediately after plowing my row, I realized my mistake, but things were irretrievably ruined.

To try and recover, I had to mow his hair at the lowest setting so the contrast with the swath would not be as stark. Of course, as I was completing this hair-removal process, the trimmers died. We weren’t sure how to proceed next.

I decided we should move inside and we could attempt to use the trimmers while they were plugged into their recharging base, which worked about half of the time and resulted in a somewhat uneven cut for the rest of Tom’s hair.

Sadly, after giving him as much of a jarhead look as I could, the contrast with the swath was still pretty stark, so I had to use scissors to blur the edges a bit, which is why Tom’s swath looks rather mangy (we both decided that was better).

I’m sure you are trying to figure out why he remains married to me after all of these years? We can all but wonder!

9 Responses to “Tom’s Bad Hair Day”

  1. Reed

    There’s only one thing to do. Dye it platinum.

  2. Michele

    Reed, what a great suggestion!! Unfortunately, I don’t think that Tom would let me near his head to try and remedy his cut with hair dye!! But I love the image. The parents at school would really freak out. And if I mess up, it would be another great blog post… . (My brother actually accused me of screwing up Tom’s hair so I’d have something to write about. *smile*)

  3. Futbol

    Try my local barber shop. Only 4 dollars!

  4. Michele

    *laugh* Tom may just take you up on that since I don’t know if he’ll let me near his hair again…or near him when he’s on the balcony…or maybe he’ll just have his keys and phone on him at all times. *sigh*

    BTW, I thought you were gone? Just popped over and read your last few posts. BTW2, can’t you hop into one of those new-fangled Internet cafes and do a little posting while you’re gone? You’re going total black out? I mean, heck, we managed to post in Punta del Diablo and El Chalten, and we’re old!

    I mean, I’m not asking for every day, but perhaps a post or two to keep the home fires burning?

  5. Futbol

    I know, I know…I leave this Saturday. I’ll definitely be writing stuff down on paper like in the olden days, and I might get it online if I have nothing better to do, but I didn’t wanna commit to it beforehand. I’m gonna see how long I can go without the internets. I’m not too optimistic.

  6. Michele

    Futbol! So exciting, you leave tomorrow. Wow. I suppose it’s very mature to focus on your trip while you are actually on it. Furthermore, it’s also very wise to under-promise and over-deliver on the blog posting thing. Really I could gag from all of the sensibility. HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!! We’ll miss you.

  7. Futbol

    Thank you!! Same to you. (I will secretly check your blog on my ipod touch when no one else is looking.)

  8. melissa s.

    The good thing is…Tom can’t see it! (unless he reads your blog)
    I’m catching up on blog reading. Sorry to hear about Zoe’s arm! She sounds like a trooper, tho.

  9. Michele

    Mel! We were talking to my brother and his girlfriend on Skype w/ video right after it happened, and we directed them to the blog. When they saw the picture, Tom got to witness their reaction to his hair first hand…a new experience since he normally had his back turned to show the disasterous cut off to friends! *sigh* The good news is that it has pretty much grown out and is no longer detectable. Yes, Zoe’s arm is doing much better — thanks for mentioning it!

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